Peak Perfection

The problem with writing about Switzerland is that so much of it has been done before, in so many places and ways, including on this Journey Blog. I could tell you that the scenery is extraordinary and spectacular (it is) or that the trains and public transport are miraculously punctual (they are). I could tell you that everything is tidy, clean and well-ordered (it is) and that Swiss cows make wonderful cheese and chocolate (and they do, and God bless them for it).

I’ll get to all that later in this post, I promise. Switzerland is fascinating in so many other ways. A landlocked Alpine country in the heart of Western Europe with a population of 9 million, speaking 4 languages (German, French, Italian, and Romansh) and bordering 5 other nations. The Swiss tend to go their own way in many areas, making them distinct from other European nations. Switzerland is a wealthy federal republic composed of 26 cantons (regions). This makes for a structure similar to the USA, with a strong central Federal government, but the cantons jealously guarding their own rights. Switzerland has followed a policy of armed neutrality since the 16th century and has not fought an international war since 1815. The constitution was designed to be amended by referendum: politicians can’t just create laws and change without the permission of the Swiss people. There’s also a process whereby individual citizens can propose change and, provided they get enough signatures, can have the rest of the country (or Canton) vote on acceptance. As a result, the Swiss go to the Voting Booth often. Actually, very often, as in, all the time. Since 1848, Swiss voters have been called to decide on 689 issues at the national level – a world record. If regional Canton ballots were included, the figure would be roughly ten times higher. They have compulsory military service for males between 18 – 34, and afterwards the soldiers become reserve militia, resulting in Switzerland having one of the highest rates of gun ownership in the world (but virtually no gun-related street crime). Little or  none of this occurs any where else in Europe, or the world for that matter.

Those of you who have read my previous Blog posts will know that the countries that I enjoy visiting the most are those that challenge us all in some way – different cultures and values that make us ask questions of how things are at home. Surprisingly, Switzerland is one of these. Next time you’re in London, or any other major world city, look around at the litter, graffiti, beggars, broken windows, snarled traffic, delayed trains, vagrants and drug addicts and ask yourself if there might not be a better way to do things? There almost certainly is, and it has a name (Hint: It begins with the letter ’S’). Now that I’ve said that though, there is of course, an alternative view of Switzerland. Many of you may remember what was in my view the greatest British Movie ever made, “The Third Man” (1949) starring Joseph Cotten, Trevor Howard, Orson Welles and the breathtakingly sad and beautiful Italian, Alida Valli. I fell in love with her the first time I saw the movie and have never fully recovered. Her real name was Baroness Alida Maria Laura Altenburger von Marckenstein-Frauenberg. At a tender young age I had a taste for tragic, classy exotic European women. I was a stupid and precocious child.

Sorry…I got sidetracked there. In the movie, Orson Welles (Harry Lime)  ad-libbed these unscripted lines during his scene with Joseph Cotten at the Ferris Wheel in Vienna, in an attempt to justify what is, in effect, his own pure evil.

“After all, it’s not that awful. You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace. And what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”

He’s wrong, of course (Cuckoo Clocks originate from Germany, and Switzerland has produced many famous and useful people) but also… you sort of know what he means?

But enough of all that. Right now I’m on Tour in Switzerland with my group. We’re in The small town of Grindelwald at the foot of the Eiger. Tomorrow we shall take the Jungfraubahn, the little cog railway that climbs up to the Jungfraujoch 3,454 metres (11,332 ft) above sea level. The highest railway station in Europe and it’s above the permanent snow line year round. Not bad for a mornings work!

Later on the Tour we’re going to be taking the Gornergrat cog railway near the Matterhorn, the Glacier Express, the Bernina Express, the Gotthard Panorama Express and a steam paddle cruiser across the lake. Switzerland has so many scenic trains (You can always tell because they have names instead of numbers like the SBB service trains). They also have panoramic windows (in most cases) and this being Switzerland… they keep the windows immaculately clean for photographs. There are others that we aren’t doing on this particular Tour – The Golden Pass, The Transalpina and the Arosa Line. I have favourite that may surprise you… It’s the Bernina Line, sometimes overlooked as people focus on the Glacier Express. Why is out my favourite? I’ll tell you. Most of the railway is a UNESCO World Heritage site and the journey includes 196 bridges and 55 tunnels at a peak altitude of 2,253 metres (7,392 feet).

Shortly before arrival in Tirano there is a steep descent down a valley and you pass over the Spiral Viaduct at Brusio, an effective way of losing elevation quickly for a railway line that would otherwise be too steep to use. You look out off the window and observe the back end of your own train going past, and in a different direction! Other Bernina benefits include a cute little metal chocolate box in the shape of the train (includes choccies).

But best of all with the Bernina, when you get off… You’re in Italy. There’s pretty square with lots of eager restaurants and bars just itching to sell you an espresso, gelato or whatever takes your fancy, and at Italian prices which can be rather better than the eye-watering Swiss equivalents. We usually have an hour or two there, time enough for my favourite pasta – Spaghetti Aglio e Oglio, a glass of Barolo, an espresso to wrap it all up with.

P.S. – Every day in Zermatt, at 9:00am and then again at 5:00pm, a large herd of goats are walked through the town along the main street, out to pasture. They have bells around their neck and are rather photogenic, as goats go. What made me smile? Fifty yards behind the herd follows a motorised street sweeping vehicle for the goat droppings. How Swiss can you get?